to the core of the problem

the outside shines, spirited and alive
while the inside glows dully in secret
trying so hard to keep others from drowning
while she herself is clinging to the shore
a tower of strength with a shaky foundation
a pillar of strength with a rotten core
blindly reaching out to hold everyone's hand
but afraid of spreading poison with every touch
"forsake me" she cries to whomever is listening
willing to smother to give others some air
would give up the moon to pass along the stars
yet somehow failing at every turn
"guide me, show me" she cries to her maker
"can i give a piece of you to the ones that i love"
"can i make it all better or ease some of the pain"
but i just stumble along making ripples in ponds
instead of smoothly sailing along to shore