Angry Girl

From deep within, I feel the rise
Of rage, although I know not why.
For no good reason the beast within me speaks.
Try as I might to calm it down
Reason just cannot be found.
And fighting it will only leave me weak.
I swear that I will not give in.
I lamely fight but just can't win,
And find myself a person quite unknown.
See that girl with all those flaws?
Striking out and showing claws-
Shamed at her behavior to the bone.
Look kindly on the Angry Girl,
As her emotions come unfurled
And she slowly falls apart before your eyes.
Her walls go up, so be prepared.
In her anger, he soul is bared.
So hold her, though she pushes while she cries.

Not sure what I'm trying to say...

Complacency is a disease
It eats away at your insides
Until you think that just okay is...okay.
Putting fourth the minimum output
Becomes your mode of survival
You tell yourself you're trying hard
But just under the surface you know
That the shorter the climb the softer the fall
You can get back up and dust yourself off
If you trip and fall to the ground
But that is too easy
You must be willing to put yourself together
When you shatter after a slip from the heights

True Love Is This....

All of cliches say that there is only one true love,
but can this really be exact?
In the course of a life you meet so many
and if you are among the lucky few
you will experience true love in so many forms.
The truth about true love is this:
True love is laughing with your sister and crying with your best friend.
It's huddling under the covers on a dark, rainy night with the one you pledged vows with
warm and safe in the cocoon of your joy
or hiding from the sadness of the world.
True love in the light weight of your child in your arms.
True love is felt in the ecstasy of finding your companion
and somehow also felt in the stinging stab of loss.
The reality is this- the blessed do not know only one true love
and instead, know the truth about love.

Serenity Prayer 2009

God, grant me the serenity to
accept that some days, I will want to stab myself in the eye with a spork.

Amen.

Here, gone, and back again...

The seconds tick by like the spokes in a wheel
Each day goes faster then the one before
From beginning to end, then return, round and round
One snapshot, then two, then a thousand, then more
First light, then the next, sun up and then down
To close your eyes once would be a mistake
Watch and listen, then learn, then imprint in your heart
Hold on to each second not asleep, but awake
A moment so fleeting, but not to forget
Cataloged in my soul I have made them mine
Each instant so precious, but how can you know
Until the next flash when it's been left behind

to the core of the problem

the outside shines, spirited and alive
while the inside glows dully in secret
trying so hard to keep others from drowning
while she herself is clinging to the shore
a tower of strength with a shaky foundation
a pillar of strength with a rotten core
blindly reaching out to hold everyone's hand
but afraid of spreading poison with every touch
"forsake me" she cries to whomever is listening
willing to smother to give others some air
would give up the moon to pass along the stars
yet somehow failing at every turn
"guide me, show me" she cries to her maker
"can i give a piece of you to the ones that i love"
"can i make it all better or ease some of the pain"
but i just stumble along making ripples in ponds
instead of smoothly sailing along to shore

Winter's Fire

The golden fire of the morning sky
Belies the frigid December air
The cloud lie nestled in their soft pink glow
As the suns first rays fall everywhere
Through the gloved cotton cover of my palms
The steering wheel still feels like ice
Out in the cold, can't help but think
That my nice, warm bed would feel so nice
But obligation sends out its call
So out into the dawn I depart
Yet somehow, in this icy air
The morning's fire warms my heart